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[Monday
December 8th, 2008
3:57pm] |
Today, I'm starting something new. Its been rough lately and instead of dwelling on the bad things, I'm going to focus on 10 things I'm thankful for.
1. My family. They're my true source of inspiration without whom I would be completely lost. No matter what, they are always there for me and love me unconditionally. I love how tight-knit my entire extended family is, its almost like we're all immediate family. Every holiday is my favorite because we all get together and celebrate. They're the reason I wake up each morning.
2. My friends. We've all had our ups and downs with friendship, I've definitely had my fair share. But with each time, I realize what great friends I do have. Kelli has been such a close friend since 3rd grade. There came a point, and I'm not sure when, where she stopped being my friend and instead became my sister. Sarah and I have definitely been through a lot. But nothing changes that we're still close at heart and one day if I ever do get married, she will be there right beside Kelli as my bridesmaid. I love these 2 girls so much. And I cannot forget what great friends I have here at school. Kristyn and I have become so close in the past 6 months that its almost hard to believe that we havent known each other much longer. Lauren and Jaimie are so fun and I always have a great time when I'm with them. And I cannot forget the guys. No matter what, they always seem to put a smile on my face or make me laugh, without even trying.
3. Life. What a precious gift. There's not much more I could say about it. Without it, well.. there would be nothing.
4. The sunrise each morning. So this sounds totally cliche, but I truly am thankful. I'm thankful that I made it through another day and another night and that I'm alive to see the beauty of the sunrise. I've always been a sucker for the sunrise, even more so than the sunset. This is one natural beauty I would never want to miss.
5. Wireless communication. We live in a world full of mass communication. Televisions, radios, phones, you name it. I used to say that I hated wireless communication such as cell phones because it only separated families. People began relying on text messaging or phone calls instead of face-to-face interactions. And so, feelings became lost in translation. Emotions were only shown behind 'emoticons.' Laziness began to set it and instead of walking 10 feet to the next room to talk to someone, a text would be sent instead. So needless to say, I was not a huge fan. But now that I live away from those I love most, I would be such a wreck without wireless communications. Right now as I write this, I'm talking to Kelli online. This source of communication that I once loathed, has now become my number one source of keeping in contact with everyone away from me. Without it, I would not be able to talk to my friends in Minnesota, or my family down in Georgia, or even my parents back in Peoria. So lets just say I have grown accustomed to and thankful of it.
6. Music. Oh music. I can always count on music to lift my spirits or for a source of good time. My life has become surrounded by music, and I have become almost a music-addict. I cannot go through one day in my life without listening to at least one song. Its what I fall asleep to at night and what I wake up to in the morning. Any genre, and artist. I can find joy in whatever music I'm listening to. Its hard to believe that something so simple can cause such great happiness in my life, but it does. And I would never be able to give it up. I would gladly give up television anyday but music, I could not live without.
7. My Church. I was born and raised a Roman Catholic. I even attended a Catholic school up until 8th grade and was confirmed in it. But I never really liked the teachings of the religion. I found it hard to believe something just because someone told me to believe it. It didnt seem right to me so I never really attended weekly masses. Then this summer, I had gone through a life-changing experience, nothing that others would consider a big thing, but to me it had helped me realize who I truly was and wanted to become. So I began to search for something to believe in. I had begun questioning my faith in God and then it one morning I saw somewhere about Northwoods Church. It was then that I realized that God was the answer to the question I had been seeking. I began to attend and havent turned back since. This church has become such a great inspiration to me and has helped me feel more welcomed than I had at any of the Catholic churches. I have found answers to many questions since I began going during the summer. Without Northwoods, I would still be where I was at the beginning of the summer, and for that I am thankful.
8. Food. I can imagine what some people are thinking. Food? Haha, how could you have food listed as one of your 10 things to be thankful for? Well let me tell you. Food keeps me alive. It keeps me going. It gives me energy and provides a time to converse with everyone in our oh-so-busy lives. It provides nourishment and it also provides a source of pleasure. According to Freud, I love food so much because I became fixated on the oral phase of my psychological development. Kinda makes sense if you ask me.
9. My past. Where would I be without my past to guide me? I do not look back and try to change what has happened but by remembering what has happened in my past and learning from it, I am more equipped to handle the future. It's what has shaped me into who I've become. Without my past, I would have no present nor future.
10. Christmas. My favorite time of year. Something happens inside me, as I'm sure it does inside others as well. My spirits become lifted, my smile grows wider, my happiness greater. The compassion throughout the world becomes a remarkable thing as everyone puts their differences aside and gathers together. The world becomes a kinder, more gentle place to live in. Christmas becomes a source of Joy in everyone's lives. Its also a time to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. He is the reason for the season and I'm reminded of that year after year.
So some of these 10 things might seem trivial and insignificant such as numbers 5, 6, and 7 but they make me happy and provide a source of comfort in my life - and for that, I am grateful.
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| Life |
[Wednesday
October 8th, 2008
7:31pm] |
its got me all stressed out.
its difficult. its challenging.
its getting to the best of me.
but i'm not giving up. i'm working harder than ever.
and i'm not changing that ever.
i wish i had more time to write it all out.
i wish i was able to put what i'm feeling into words.
i wish i could talk to people about it
but i dont know how.
i've never known how.
its one thing i'm working on.
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| Summer.. |
[Thursday
August 14th, 2008
9:07pm] |
..has definitely not turned out the way I thought it would. Nothing worked out the way I planned. But in the end, I think it worked out for the best.
I had planned on spending my summer with Morgan but when she stopped talking to me, that left me with no friends. Here at least. For about 2 weeks, I sat around bored and miserable because I had no money, no friends, and no job. And then Kelli and I started talking and hanging out again. I hadnt imagined that we would become so close. She really is the one I spent my summer with and I really dont want to leave her in a week.. :(
You know, I miss Morgan. A lot. But I've learned that in order for a friendship or relationship to survive, they both have to work at it. One can't just give up. And thats exactly what she did. She gave up on us. I have no idea why, and I dont think I'll ever know but it sucks how someone could just give up a so called 'best friend.' I miss her terribly though.
So when Kelli and I started talking and hanging out again, of course, sarah came into the picture. And I had missed her LOTS too. So it was good to have her back. so once again, kelli, sarah & i were best friends. it was good, we had a good thing going. i love those girls.
ooh and then the 4 month fling with cory. that started out GREAT. better than i had ever expected. he worked for my attention, he worked hard. and sometimes, i wish i wouldnt've been so hard on him. i didnt want to like him because i was afraid of getting hurt, and he convinced me that that's no way to live life. i cant be so cautious and afraid. and he was right. and then of course, things went sour. and i definitely didnt make it easier. i really didnt give him the time of day and when i did, i gave him too much attention. its a bad combo. so i wish i would've done things differently but i cant change the past. i just need to learn from my mistakes and use what i've learned towards the future. i'll never forget the summer beneath the stars with him though. he was my rain. he'll forever hold a special place in my heart because like i've said before, he taught me how to love. no, i wasnt in love with him but i realized what it takes to be with someone you really care about and what i deserve in return.
so all in all, i guess you could say i really did learn a lot about myself this summer. i learned who i do and dont want to be. i'm starting to become comfortable in my own skin. it was a long hard, grueling, process but i wouldnt take any of it back. this has been the most important summer of my life. i feel like i'm finally growing up and starting to find my own place in this world. i couldn'tve done it without the help of family & friends by my side supporting me.
so yeah, it wasnt exactly the summer i wanted before it started.
but it was a summer to remember, and thats exactly what i had asked for.
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| I'm in love with |
[Wednesday
August 6th, 2008
12:58am] |
Quotes.
Here are some of my favorite from tonight. The first 10 are from Harry Potter.
after all, to the well-organized mind,
death is but the next great adventure
--» Albus Dumbledore
the trouble is, humans have a knack for choosing
precisely those things that are worst for them
--» Albus Dumbledore
happiness can be found even in the darkest of
times if only one remembers to turn on the light
--» Albus Dumbledore
if you want to know what a man's like, take a good
look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals
--» Sirius Black
numbing pain for awhile will make
it worse when you finally feel it
--» Albus Dumbledore
it is my belief, that the truth
is usually preferable to lies
--» Albus Dumbledore
differences of habit and language are nothing at all
if our aims are identical and our hearts are open.
--» Albus Dumbledore
It is our choices, that show what we
truly are, far more than our abilities.
--» Albus Dumbledore
You fail to recognize that it matters not what
someone is born, but what they grow to be
--» Albus Dumbledore
Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure
--» Luna Lovegood
faith is believing when there's nothing else you can do.
--» Karen Roe, One Tree Hill
You came in second place then,
what makes you think it'll be any different now?
--» Dan Scott, One Tree Hill
I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as he turned around to leave
--» Blind, Lifehouse
when my love for you was blind
but I couldn't make you see it
that I loved you more than you'll ever know
a part of me died when I let you go
--» Blind, Lifehouse
I thought my problems would just dissipate
and all my pain would be in yesterday
--» Coffee & Cigarettes, Michelle Featherstone
yes, you can try to get over him
wash him away with your tears
but every girl knows that in the
bottom of your heart, even if it`s
only a tiny part, he is always ;
going to be part of your l i f e
© Socialite_reviews
and she turns up her music
and drifts into the world of things
that will never come to pass...
© flutemaiden127
just when she thinks she is ready to get over him,
she hears a song on the radio that reminds her of him.
and then she realizes she must be crazy;
she could never get over this boy
© flutemaiden127
It's almost like you had it planned
It's like you smiled and shook my hand and said
"Hey, I'm about to screw you over, big time"
(Light Years Away; MoZella)
well I thought you'd listen
but I'm shattered like broken glass
well I thought that we'd be different babe
(Love Me Like That; Michelle Branch)
so much beauty in life
shining on the outside
empty on the inside
(Take it all Away; Ryan Cabrera)
this is the end of a really sad story
but don't feel bad for me
I started out alone
and in the end that's where I'll be
(Sad Story; Plain White T's)
you just walked away
and I just watched you
what could I say
(About Today; The National)
no one else will know these lonely dreams
no one else will know that part of me
(23; Jimmy Eat World)
Sometimes romance confuses a friendship.
I gave you my heart. That's all that I
can give to you and if that's not enough
for you...then I'm not enough for you.
I used to be afraid of so many things..that I'd never grow up, that I'd be trapped in the same place for all eternity, that my dreams would forever be shy of my reach. It's true what they say. Time plays tricks on you. One day you're dreaming, the next your dream has become your reality. & now that this scared little girl no longer follows me wherever I go, I miss her. I do. Cause there are things I wanna tell her ; to relax, to lighten up, that it's all going to be ok. I want her to know that meeting people who like you, who understand you, who actually accept you for who you are, will become an increasingly rare occurrence. These people who contributed to who I am, they're with me wherever I go, & as history gets rewritten in small ways with each passing day, my love for them only grows. Cause the truth is..it was the best of times. Mistakes were made, hearts were broken, harsh lessons learned, but all of that has receded into fond memory now. How does it happen? Why are we so quick to forget the bad & romanticize the good? Maybe it`s cause we need to believe that the time we spent together actually meant something, that we were there for each other in a time in our lives that defined us all, a time in our lives that we'll never forget. I can't swear this is exactly how it happened. But this is how it felt. (Dawson's Creek)
i could seriously continue this for hours
but the night is creeping in
and i'm tired. goodnight.
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[Tuesday
July 29th, 2008
11:44pm] |
April showers
Bring May flowers
I have seen rain before
-Sugarland.
Here we are again, circles never end
How do I find the perfect fit
There's enough for everyone
But I'm still waiting in line
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
-Natasha Bedingfield.
These two songs really speak to my heart right now.
I have so much to say.. so much to update on. And yet, I cannot find the energy or initiative to write it all out now.
perhaps I'll do it tomorrow.
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[Monday
July 14th, 2008
2:08pm] |
Jessica,
I know I have some life changing news for you.
I know you are not getting what you deserve from life and because of that I'm very concerned for you and about you.
I've been so busy lately that I have had to put some important people off for months. I'm seeing in my own vision that my life should not be dedicated to just helping the rich and famous people that take up so much of my time. They have enough money and respect.
Religious leaders have called on me to help them to better the lives of their followers and I have.
I've been on TV and Radio trying to help as many people as I can all at one time. I'm sure you have seen or heard me.
But I still feel the need to help people one on one. This is what I need to do, what I want to do. Visions still fill my head of people I must help.
Like with you Jessica. I'm feeling a strong need to help you.
I see that you are a good person. I see that you have given a lot of yourself, and I see that something better is coming to you. But yet seeing your chart, I know you need my guidance now! I must now focus on your problems - I need to help you.
I know that you have plenty of wonderful goals, but you feel as though something or someone is always interfering with you and those worthy dreams. You're no doubt wondering how far you could get if only you had the right opportunities and a clear path to success.
I'm concerned about you because I know you're in a bad situation - perhaps many bad situations - that you consider 'dead-end.' Whether it is your relationship that is providing the problem, or a going nowhere life, you feel trapped, stymied and in a rut - unlucky.
I also feel as though you are dwelling sadly on the past, regretting opportunities you've let slip through your fingers. Like many of us, you are focusing on the 'what could have beens,' which doesn't help when you're trying to handle your problems today.
And I know how you feel when you look at others whom you consider 'luckier' than you - those folks who seem to have it all when it comes to riches and romance. You're no doubt wondering how you can catch the same breaks as these seemingly fortunate folks.
And what about the MONEY. You feel that all you need is a little help, a little luck and you'll have all the money you need.
Even worse than all of the above, you don't believe that there is anyone to whom you can turn… anyone who you can trust …anyone who understands what it is you're going through and experiencing.
Jessica, I understand.
I understand because I KNOW that you are experiencing a life crisis. A point in your life when your luck must change or else...
But, together, you and I can help you become one of those ‘lucky’ people. One of those who always experiences sunny skies rather than drab, gray days. One of those who literally goes through life with a song on your lips. One of those that others envy.
Luck and success is a simple matter of knowing when opportunities occur and knowing when to take advantage of those opportunities - and I know how to do that.
I know you're thinking right now that you've heard all this before, that you receive a few of these letters every month.
There are all sorts of so-called astrologers and psychics out there. They promise you the stars and deliver nothing. They have no idea what they're talking about.
You are a person that has been let down many times. You want to know that you will not be fooled. You want to know that this time you'll get everything you need to make the difference in your life that you so much deserve.
I know that when time of true need arises, and when help is what you really need, you find yourself not telling anyone. Like all good people you wish those who care about you would know what you are experiencing and going through.
But you want to be strong... you don't want to be a burden.
I see this in you. I see that you are not where you should be because you've trusted the wrong people.
Now you're unable to see the help you need when it presents itself to you.
Are you going to let the last chance at happiness slip through your grasp?
I see that you won't let that happen.
I care about you, I know what you are experiencing and going through.
Many of my friends were in the EXACT SAME position as you are right now.
They too were experiencing confusion and despair because they didn't know the way to their success.
They too didn't think anyone cared about them or their lives.
They too asked for my help and I helped by showing them the way from misery to the rich life.
I provided them with a road map that helped lead them out of their own personal chaos and put them on the highway toward positive destinies!
But that's not you - that's someone else. What about you.
I'm clearly seeing the rich life changes ahead for you. Life will be getting better for you very soon. You just need to trust and follow a friends guidance.
But Jessica I guess the best thing really is the feeling of security, inner peace and better health that comes when the pressure of your problems has been lifted - really lifted.
Jessica more and more keeps coming into my head. I have so much to tell you. I know you need my help very badly and I know I will help you
I've reserved some time for you in the next couple of days, so please act quickly.
Remember time is not on your side here. Delay and you delay the start of your better life.
^ I got the above in an email from some psychic. I'm sure she wants $ or whatever. But when I read this, my mouth dropped. She is absolutely 100% correct. This is me - right now. How can someone figure me out dead on. This is crazy.
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| I am.. |
[Wednesday
July 9th, 2008
10:57am] |
nervous..
afraid..
excited..
confused..
jumping off the deep end..
Will you be there to catch me?
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[Friday
July 4th, 2008
3:28pm] |
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Are you dating the last boy you talked to?
Hard to say, honestly. We dont go on dates so i really woudnt consider it dating.
When is the last time you took a nap?
It was a couple days ago. I could use one now.
What are you listening to right now?
Myself type.
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
My mother.
What was on your mind most today?
Well the day is only half over. I've thought about cory a lot. Go figure. Also, work. Oh, and tomorrow night . :D
Something that happened today that made you angry?
NOthing really. The day's not over yet.
Are you happier when you're single or in a relationship?
Never been in a relationship so I couldnt tell ya. Being single is getting old though.
Do you talk about your feelings or hide them?
Depends on who's around. Usually, hide them. I'm starting to talk about them more though.
Do you wear makeup?
Yeah, I'm always wearing some form of makeup.
Are you missing someone?
Always.
Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
Yes. But if you blow that 2nd chance, you're screwed.
What instant messaging service do you use?
AIM. I dont really talk to anyone on it though.
Would you date/hook up with your brother's best friend?
Nooo thanks.
What color is your hair?
Auburn.
Who was the last person you hugged?
Cory last night (:
Who was the last person you talked to in person?
I think I said bye to my mom earlier. Unless you count the workers at the mall..
What are you doing tonight?
Working til who knows when. MIssing the fireworks. Then hopefully out?
What did you do yesterday?
Uhh.. homework. chilled. worked for an HOUR. jesus. hung out with my dad for his bday. saw cory. :)
Are you happy right now?
I'm starting to let myself be happy.
Is your phone beside you?
always. haha
Are you cold?
For once, no.
First thing you do when you wake up?
Check my phone i think.
How long does it take for you to fall asleep at night?
depends. some nights, 2 minutes. others about a half hour or so.
What do your friends call you?
Jess.
What is your pet's name?
Tiger. Oh and Rascal
Do you have any siblings? Do you get along?
2 brothers. I get along with jayson great. I love that. but jared? fuck no. we fight like its no one's business.
Do you cry a lot?
I cant tell you the last time that I cried.
Would you prefer to date a celebrity?
No thanks. Unless it's David Beckham. :)
Are you good at keeping secrets?
I can be
Do you participate in gym class?
No gym class in college.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Courtney & Eric's house. Work. Back to their house with someone. PLaying wii and having a great time. :)
What's the most interesting thing that happened to you today?
Nothing.
What would you do if your last crush came up to you and apologized for something they did?
As in the one before now? Probably faint. And when I woke up tell em I've been waiting years for this but they're too late.
Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
Nope.
Have you ever flirted with a friends crush?
Hahaha, yes.
Last movie you watched?
I dont remember.
Has anyone ever sang to you?
I'm sure.
Has anyone ever given you roses?
Yes, for my birthday this year :)
If you were abandoned in the wilderness, would you survive?
Get me some vitamin water and a cute boy and hell yeah, I'd survive.
First person to text today?
Probably Cory. Maybe Megan?
What is your favorite color?
Green
What color are your eyes?
Dark brown.
Who was the last person to say they loved you and when?
That's not something I hear very often.
Do you like your parents?
Sure do. Sometimes more than others
Which do you prefer, to eat or sleep?
Oh god. I couldn't choose. I love to do both.
How long does it take you to shower?
anywhere between 5 and 40 minutes. lol
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| Jessen & Me |
[Monday
August 22nd, 2005
10:42pm] |
Jessen and I at our aunt and uncles with the chicago skyline in the backround. Jessen took the picture of the skyline.
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[Monday
August 22nd, 2005
8:59pm] |
1- you have a great taste in music and you are one of the best photographers ever
2. sweet november/ that collin raye song that iliked.. we listend to that song and watched that movie the first time i went to ur house
3. strawberry my favorite
4. hmmm lets see..im drawing a blank, nothing we say ever makes sense, umm okay.. j'aime le garcon s'apple rima, et tu sais que je parle ;)... je taime ... tu est chouette et tu est FREAKIN AWESOME
5. Oooh, first good one, umm i have no track of time in my memory.. lets see i remember u coming over one winter and playing games, and i remember us at ur b-day party.... my first memory of you was when we were fighting freshman year, im glad we grew up adn grew closer!
6. a liger, b/c they are freakin sweet
7. do you wish you had sisters?
8. once upon a time you and me skipped french and physics and had a party we invited rima and your lover and had a party in the back of the auditorium :) you fill in the blanks:)
9. aquamarine or orange!
Kerri- You are so awesome and sweet et tres tres tres intelligent et belle! Tres Tres TRES belle, and dont let anyone tell you any different. Im said that everyones first memory of me was when we were fighting. But its true and Im sorry I was such an ass all freshman year. Im glad I grew up.
I wish I had the sisterly bond you have with your sisters. Hmmm.. GREAT PARTY;)
Do I wish I had sisters? No, because I already have the most amazing sisters I could want, my friends. I <3 you all and adore you very much. Each and every one of you is an inspiration to me.
1. Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. I'll tell you a mini story about you and me (fiction only)
9. I'll tell you what color you remind me of
10. If i do this for you, you have to post it in your m'fing journal
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| Kayla said too |
[Saturday
August 20th, 2005
11:21am] |
1. Youre intimidating when youre mad
2. song- i like to move it move it and movie- umm was fever pitch the last movie we say
3. definitely orange
4. Haha. anything regarding pool table skits.. like the bar. andthe produce section. and umm. what other ones were there? the psychic!! :-)
5. my first memory? was not liking you freshman year because you didnt like me because of sarah. my BEST memory however. is walmart. with the ball and the undies.
6. meerkat.
7. How did you come about such a wonderful talent of photography
8. One day we were walking down the streeet. and you picked up a leaf, and you were like hey leaf, and the leaf was like motha fucka leave me a lone, so you threw it down on the ground and stomped on it and we skipped away with lollipops and flowers
9. sunshine yellow.
10. post this in your mf'ing journal.
haha!
in response to your question. I have no clue. Once I figure it out Ill let you know
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[Tuesday
August 16th, 2005
8:21am] |
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mmmmk sooo.. Last Thursday we headed up to Chicago for Brysen's tournament. They lost their first game to new york by 1 and then proceeded to win their next three. They made it to the quarter finals and lost to new york again. Brysen made all-star so we stayed until Sunday. He's one of the best 11 year old roller-hockey players in the country. Im proud of my little cousin, he's sweet. But Jessen, man she is amazing. I was suppossed to stay with them in their hotel but there wasnt room so I stayed with grandma and grandpa in their hotel. The hotel Jessen stayed at was for only families with kids in the tournament. All sorts of teams stayed there. Im not sure what states other than Georgia and Hawaii. Mmmm, MR Hawaii dude, if your reading this, Jessen, Mary Rose, and I are LOOKING FOR YOU! Jessen's friend that she met in California Mary Rose drove about 45 minutes to see Jessen for the day. She's pretty sweet. We had fun being the most-valuable fans and singing at the top of our lungs in the elevator and down the hall. I wanna see some of those pictures Jessen! mmmk well im not really typing anymore, just sitting back and thinking. anyways, Jessen, I cant wait to see you again in December! Only 4 months to go. Gah, that seems like a LONG time
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| Schedule time |
[Wednesday
August 10th, 2005
4:22pm] |
1st semester:
2A- Weight training with Rashid
3A- Us History with Tallon
4A- Eastern History with Tallon again (you fat lard)
5A- Foods/Nutrition 1 with Marchand
2B- Comp/Gram with Schmidt
3B- French III Accel with Jennings (yes!)
4B- Physics Honors with Gribble (joy)
5B- Pre calculus with Thompson (yay!)
2nd semester:
2A- Us History with Tallon
3A- Social Problems with Rashid
4A- Photo Journalism with Girot
5A- Physics Honors with Gribble
2B- American Lit with Harding
3B- French III Accel with Jennings
4B- Pre Calc with Thompson
5B- Foods/Nutrition II with Marchand
so I think this year is going to suck. At least I had a good schedule last year.
Let me know if we have any classes together!
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[Sunday
August 7th, 2005
11:31pm] |
mmmk sooo...
I went to the meeting yesterday about ASSE. It wasnt allright but Amber got lost and didnt find it. Haha its okay Amber, you didnt miss much. A whole bunch of information on insurance and all that good stuff. Id say my favorite part was..... The break with cookies and lemonade.... yumm haha. Anyways, I came here (my grandparents house) and played with my little cousins for awhile. So cute. I missed them. Then I went down to the dock and I saw Jessen, and my brother and braxt and brys were on the rope swing. They all get in and being peer pressured, I jump in. Yep, in my CLOTHES. Aaaaah it wasnt so bad but I havent washed them yet and Im afraid they'll stain. Anywaysssss, after we were down there we came back up to eat and then went to my house to pick up stuff so I could stay here. Jessen and I came back and played poker with Jared, Braxten, and Brysen. I won, I think. =P We all went to bed and I woke up at 8:30. Jessen woke up about 5 minutes later. Anyone else think 8:30 is lunchtime??? Yeah, right, its NOT. Thanks Uncle Steve. Thank you for that. We went down to the dock and swam after eating pancakes. Yummm. This time, I was in my bathing suit. Thank goodness. Walking up the hill in sopping wet jeans isnt the greatest time. It is, however, a pretty good workout. We then proceeded to walk up the hill, which btw, needs to have new steps. Anyways, we all came up, took a shower, and headed to mass. The guy was a HORRIBLE singer. Ick. After that we all went to Addy's 1st birthday party. So cute, it was very well thought-out. Andrea goes all out on these things. Came back, swam, took another shower, and went back to my house. Came back, and now we're sitting here and Im typing while Jessen is reading some of my old magazines. Im tired and Im heading to bed. Goodnight everyone.
If you made it through all that, I praise you. Im not the best writer and it shows.
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[Friday
August 5th, 2005
9:37am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 excited |
] |
www.flickr.com/photos/photographicwishes89
Michigan Pictures^
P.S. Jessen arrives tomorrow. Oh and ahem, Fido too.=P
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[Saturday
July 30th, 2005
9:59pm] |
Well Im back from another wonderful week up in gorgeous Leland, Michigan. Let me try and remember what I did.
FRIDAY: Left home about 8:00 or so and arrived about 6:30 EST. Had a cookout with leftovers. Bobbie, Jim, my family, Dave and Becky's family (besides Jane and David) were there. Bed.
Saturday: Went to the cyber cafe with my dad, checked my email, all that jazz. Saw Tim Allen (again). Headed to the beach. Jane and David arrived. Ate at Dave and Becky's place for another cookout. Bed.
Sunday: Stayed and watched t.v. while McKenna slept while everyone else went to church. They didnt want to wake her and I wasnt up early enough seeing how I got up as they were walking out the door. My dad went charter fishing on Lake Michigan for 5 hours. Met the captain and first mate(cute) of the boat they were on. Walked around fishtown during that time. Had some New Orleans food for a cookout at our house. Had shrimp, corn, potatos, all kinds of stuff in it. The shrimp still had legs. Uck!
Monday: Andrea's birthday. Went to the beach about noon and stayed till about 3 or so when we came back to the house and had birthday cake (pepperidge farm. yum) The "adults" went out while Megan, David, and I stayed back and watched t.v. and hung out with the grandparents.
Tuesday: Not sure. Big waves in the evening but cold. 4-5 footers but it was 5:00ish and freezing so I didnt swim. I went down to watch David and Megan for a little bit then came back to the house.
Wednesday: Addison's 1st birthday! Happy birthday sweetie! Beach day, the waves were decent but could've been better. Went up to Bobbie and Jim's for supper and had hot dogs and birthday cake. 2 days apart. I think Im going to like having two birthday parties in Michigan every year. Got in the hot tub with David and Megan. It was fricken cold when David sprayed me with the hose but it was fun. Stargazed. Pretty nice night. One event I wish to forget but Im assured its not what I think I saw.
Thursday: Sleeping Bear Sand Dunes! Spent a while at the small dune for McKenna. Went to the top and took some pictures of Glen Lake and Lake Michigan. (will post later) Went to the 450 foot drop where I got sand in my camera last year. Too windy and sandy so we left.
Friday: Went and got cherries and a cooler for my dads 20 lbs of salmon he caught when he went charter fishing. Beach. Dave and Becky's for a cookout. Went to the park and the beach with Jane while she shot photos for her cousin and her fiance. I love photography<3. Headed back to Dave and Becky's while Jane and my dad went to play pool with Jane's cousins. Watched t.v. till everyone went to bed then went back to my house, watched t.v. and read Harry Potter. Which btw.. is so far good. I already know someone dies and who and Im not too excited about that.
Today: Left at 10:22 a.m. Ate at Steak and Shake with Craig, Andrea, McKenna, Addy, Grandma, Grandpa, and dad. Read Harry potter on the way. and got home about 7:00ish.
I had a CRAZY dream last night. Im not going to say what it was because he might be reading this but I liked it. It was a good dream and I actually hope it might happen. Thats all I thought about on the way home.
p.s. pictuers to come
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[Sunday
July 17th, 2005
11:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 restless |
] |
Im sitting at my cousin Rachel's apartment.
My other cousins, Makayla and Katie are watching SD
While Kyley has been downstairs at my aunt Judy's for quite sometime
Lets see
Yesterday: The wedding was a total success. I thought the ceremony was very beautiful and air conditioned, which was a plus. The ring is humongous but very beautiful. I hung out with Kyley before and after the wedding. Before, we just sat aruond in Metamora waiting for all the bridesmaids to be ready. We finally left to go to the church and hung out there. Stole some pregnant ladies french fries from Mickey D's. Well, not stealing technically. She didnt want them so she gave them to us. I was happy as I was hungry like a wolf. The wedding was wonderful, and then, the reception. Which was a total blast. I danced for an entire 5 hours. Something I love to do, (Its in my genes), but none of my friends ever want to go dancing with me. I dont know why, but anyways. Drank a few glasses of champaigne and had a wonderful time. Great songs + cute guy watching you + Chelsey, Kyley, and Frankie = A good time. The guy was a sight to see. Totally cute but not preppie. He had his own style going which was great. I like to see something out of the ordinary that still looks amazing in its own way. He was super cute. Frankie agrees. Im not sure why he was watching me dance the entire night, because there was a girl there that showed up in jeans and a shirt and stood by him. He had to have been single because he went to catch the garder. I dont know. Flirting was fun, as it always is. I guess you could say Im a big flirter, so what? No harm done. Kyley came back to my house because I NEVER get to see her. (She lives in Arizona) We went downstairs and talked, mainly about this drunk 30 year old who was totally ugly and completely hitting on her. That was a fun story. Talked about ghosts, and finally fell asleep. Woke up around 12:30, left for here about 2:00, came here, hung out, cleaned Rachel's apartment, which I am very pleased with so far (We have the living room and kitchen done and Im not even gonig to tell you what it looked like before, Uck!), took Jared and Cole home, and now Im back here. Typing away like a madman because Im not tired and everyone else is sleeping with SD in the backround. My bladder is about to burst for not peeing, so until next time!
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| Kayla said too |
[Sunday
July 10th, 2005
10:05am] |
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1. my eyes change color depending on what i'm wearing.
2. i make wishes on fallen eyelashes.
3. i also make wishes on shooting stars & when the clock reads 11:11
4. i'm only superstitious when it comes to making wishes - i take every opportunity i get.
5. i wanted a little sister when i was younger.
6. i was an only child until i was almost 11.
7. my favorite band is hanson.
8. i've been to too many concerts to count.
9. bands that write their own songs and play their own instruments kick the asses of the ones who don't.
10. i hate rap music.
11. but i love to dance to it.
12. i'm a big flirt.
13. i love dressing up.
14. my favorite make-up product is mascara.
15. i have freckles & love them.
16. i never tan, only burn, and then go back to being pale.
17. i wish my teeth were whiter.
18. i like kisses better than hugs.
19. i hate it when people i barely know tell me they love me.
20. compliments make me uncomfortable.
21. so does being the only one opening presents in front of people.
22. i try too hard to make sure people know i appreciate the things they do for me.
23. when i was little, i was afraid to be polite.
24. i used to be a really picky eater. ( still am)
25. i HATE seafood.
26. i wish orange juice didn't have calories.
27. pilates is the best work out ever.
28. i don't have a job.
29. i wish i had a job. (im trying to get another)
30. i love to shop.
31. sales are my best friend.
32. both of my parents are divorced and remarried.
33. i don't like my dad.
34. i feel really bad that i don't like my dad.
35. there are things i should tell my dad that could possibly resolve the tension between us, but i'm too afraid.
36. confrontation scares me.
37. i'm not afraid to ask a guy out.
38. coconut gelato is the greatest food ever invented.
39. i wish i was thinner. (i wish i was gaining weight)
40. i wish i had toned abs. (moreso than I do now)
41. i drive a 2003 honda civic.
42. i want a beemer when i'm older & have money of my own.
43. i'm obsessed with auburn football.
44. i plan on attending auburn university starting in the fall of 2006.
45. i will be a class of 2006 high school graduate.
46. i'm excited about my senior year.
47. i miss someone right now.
48. i wish i could make people feel a certain way.
49. i want to help people with problems similar to mine when i'm older.
50. i thought i wanted to be a psychiatrist, but i'm having second thoughts.
51. all of the psychiatrists i've seen, especially the men, have sucked.
52. i love to travel.
53. i've only been to one other country besides the us.
54. i want to visit europe.
55. my favorite tv shows are gilmore girls and whose line is it anyway.
56. whose line makes me laugh so hard that my door has to be closed when i watch it.
57. i love laughing until i cry/until my stomach hurts.
58. my favorite city i've visited so far was philadelphia.
59. i'm going to san francisco soon.
60. i get cold easily.
61. i hate wearing long sleeves & long pants.
62. i also hate wearing shoes & socks. barefoot is the way to be!
63. the worst is when you go to someone's house & they keep their shoes on, so you feel like you have to as well. ugh.
64. i can't sit still - i'm always fidgeting.
65. i love rainy days & thunderstorms.
66. fleece blankets are the best.
67. i'm obsessed with butterflies.
68. i love cats. my friends say i'm half-feline.
69. i'd much rather be hot than cold.
70. i get over-heated easily.
71. i hate it when heavy people complain about their knees. or being too hot when it's freezing.
72. i hate being in tight spaces with tons of people.
73. like at general admission concerts. i love the music but hate the crowds.
74. i don't like to promote my favorite bands, so i can keep them to myself.
75. i don't follow what's "in style".
76. i LOVE scarves.
77. sequins are the greatest thing ever.
78. clothes, shoes, and accessories with sequins are even better.
79. my favorite color is pink.
80. i'm a girly-girl.
81. i've only skipped school once, but i'd like to do it again.
82. i've never been drunk, and i don't want to be.
83. i hate smoking & will never ever try it.
84. i think smoking in public places should be banned everywhere.
85. i think wine smells good but tastes horrible.
86. pushy religious people drive me nuts.
87. people tell me i'm creative.
88. i love planning parties.
89. i also love to cook & bake.
90. i make killer chocolate chip cookies.
91. i will never understand why people say blueberries are sweet - they're freaking sour.
92. i've always loved broccoli.
93. i've never had a surprise party thrown for me.
94. i've been served breakfast in bed.
95. i have a best friend that i've had since kindergarten
96. i wish i had a life-long best friend - one that i've known since kindergarten, or earlier.
97. i love nature and hate seeing it torn down to build crap.
98. i think americans eat too much.
99. i love speaking spanish
100. i don't like swimming.
001. I miss somebody right now.
002. I watch more tv than I used to.
003. i love olives
004. I love sleeping.
005. I own a home.
006. I wear glasses or contact lenses
007. I love to play video games.
008. I've done something illegal.
009. I've watched porn movies.
010. I have been in a threesome.
011. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
012. I like my handwriting.
013. I have acne free skin.
014. I like and respect Al Sharpton.
015. I curse frequently.
016. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
017. I have a hobby.
018. I've been to another country.
019. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
020. I'm really, really smart.
021. I've never broken anyone else's bones.
022. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
023. I love rain.
024. I'm paranoid at times.
025. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
026. I need money right now.
027. I love sushi.
028. I talk really, really fast sometimes.
029. I have fresh breath in the morning.
030. I have long hair.
031. I have lost money in Las Vegas.
032. I have at least one brother and/or sister.
033. I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
034. I shave my legs.
035. I have a twin.
037. I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
038. I like the way that I look. (with the exception of a few features)
039. I have lied to a good friend in the past 6 months.
040. I know how to do cornrows.
041. I am usually pessimistic.
042. I have mood swings.
043. I think prostitution should be legalized.
044. I think Britney Spears is pretty.
045. I have cheated on someone.
046. I have a hidden talent. (not so much anymore.. my photography skills are starting to show)
047. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
048. I've been sexually intimate with less than ten people.
049. I am currently single.
050. I have kissed someone of the same sex.
051. I enjoy talking on the phone.
052. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
053. I love to shop.
054. I would rather shop than eat.
055. I would classify myself as ghetto
056. I'm bourgeoisie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
057. I'm obsessed with my Diary
058. I don't hate anyone.
059. I'm a pretty good dancer
060. I don't think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington.
061. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
062. I have a cell phone.
063. I watch MTV on a daily basis.
065. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
067. I have never been in a real relationship before.
068. I've rejected someone before.
069. I currently have a crush on someone.
070. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
071. I want to have children in the future.
072. I have changed a diaper before.
073. I've had the cops called on me before.
074. I bite my nails.
075. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club.
076. I'm not allergic to anything deadly. (does pennicillen count?)
077. I have a lot to learn.
078. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger.
079. I plan on seeing Ice Cube's newest "Friday" movie.
080. I am very shy around the opposite sex.
081. I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
082. I have at least 5 away messages saved.
083. I have been rejected by someone.
084. I have made a move on a friend's significant other in the past.
085. I own the "SOUTHPARK" movie.
086. I have avoided work to play on Livejournal.
087. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum.
088. I enjoy country music.
089. I love my best friend(s).
090. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
091. I occasonally watch soap operas.
092. I'm obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist.
093. I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
094. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
095. I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story".
096. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
097. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it Even before it became the "cool" thing to watch
098. I have dated a close friend's ex.
099. I'm happy as of this moment.
100. I have gone scuba diving.
101. I've had a crush on somebody I have never met.
102. I've kissed someone I knew I shouldn't.
103. I play a musical instrument.
104. I strongly dislike math.
105. I'm procrastinating on something right now. (cleaning my room)
106. I own and use a library card.
107. I fall in "lust" more than in "love."
108. Cheese enchiladas rock my socks.
109. I think The Lord of the Rings is one of the greatest things ever.
110. I'm obsessed with the tv show "The O.C."
111. I am resentful that I have to grow up.
112. I am an entirely different person around different people.
113. I think the world would be a better place if people just smiled more often.
114. I think ramen is one of the best foods in the whole world.
115. I am suffering of a broken heart.
116. I am a nerd.
117. No matter where I am or who I'm with, I always seem to be lonely.
118. I am left handed and proud of it.
119. I TRY not to change who I am for someone.
120. My heart resides below my feet.
121. I have had sex with someone I was not in a relationship with.
122. I enjoy smoothies.
123. I have had major surgery.
124. I have adopted a pet.
125. I am listening to Radiohead right now.
126. Some people call me by a nickname.
127. I once stole a music stand.
128. I like pumpkin pie.
129. I love NASCAR!
130. I own a over 200 CDs.
131. I work 7 days a week.
132. I've had mono.
132. I don't have the ability to make decisions without changing my mind.
133. People tell me I have a horrible sense of humor.
134. I'm still in my PJs.
135. I'm looking for love in all the wrong places.
136. I have a tendency to fall for the wrong people, or have them fall for me, so I can't help but reciprocate.
137. I'll try anything three times. Almost anything.
138. Done drugs other than Alcohol or Cannabis.
139. I'm having trouble sleeping.
140. I am a cuddler.
141. I love John Waters films (kayla did it but its true. I do too)
142. I have made a pornographic videotape
143. I'm a vegetarian
144. I am Pagan
145. I sing WAY more than I should.
146. I Really like the word : "Bazooka"
147. I Like Nuns
148. Been made fun of so much you want to shoot yourself.
149. I am obsessed with Wicked.
150. I am in love with sigma phi epsilon brothers!
151. I like someone who I've known for a long time.
152. I think Sirius Black should be a real person.
153. I watch Boiling Points and laugh at the people.
154. Sometimes I'm too passive.
155. My room can't stay clean for longer than a day.
156. I still have a dial-up connection.
157. I hate leaving the house without a watch on.
158. I have a sick obsession with bean burritos.
159. I own bunny slippers.
160. Band isn't just something to fill the time.
161. I would pee my pants if I did not have Chapstick on me 24/7/365
162. I have my own car.
163. I love surprises.
164. I love one of my parents more than the other.
165. I over analyze everything.
166. I ate cheerios for breakfast.
167. I’m in love with somebody who doesn't want a serious relationship yet. (likes one of my friends, or so they say. Alwyas happens to me)
168. I feel naked if I leave home without my cell phone.
1-I'm a girl
2-I'm a boy
3-I like rain
4-I am a good dancer
5-I wear tank tops
6-I like thongs (
7-I watch cartoons
8-I've watched Nick Jr. well into my teens
9-I spend too much time online
10-I have a collection of something
11-I have too many clothes
12-I can't control myself
13-I have been in love
14-I prefer construction paper over regular printer paper
15-I have a coloring book
16-I've been in a different country other than my own
17-I pretend to know things I don't
18-I am often sick
19-I complain too much
20-My life isn't as bad as I like to say it is
21-Someone likes me
22-I wish I weren't so stupid
23-I think I need to talk to someone about my problems
24-I don't treat my friends as well as I should
25-I have skipped school before
26-I can stand on my toes
27-I can do the full macarena
28-Tongue-twisters are easy to say
29-I listen to 80s music
30-I have too many secrets to count
31-I try to be as honest with people as much as possible
32-I'd be better off without my parent(s)
33-I have more than one life-changing regret
34-I want to live to be over 100
35-I like to party hard
36-I listen to heavy metal
37-I sometimes stereotype people even though I say I hate labels
38-I'm artsy and 100% original
39-My nose is stuffy right now
40-I wish the weather would be warmer
41-I've frollicked on a beach
42-I once updated my journal more than 5 times in a day
43-I have more than one messaging program
44-I think South Park is the best show ever
45-I love Johnny Depp
46-If I see a penny, I always pick it up
47-I watch Disney movies regularly
48-Peter Pan has the right idea
49-I have a special cup that nobody can use but me
50-I'm territorial
51-Even if I believe in non violence, I will fight for what I believe in
52-I have a new computer
53-My boy/girlfriend doesn't treat me as well as they should
54-I try to be a good person to everyone
55-I am rude
56-I snore and/or sleep talk
57-I over-eat when I am too stressed out
58-I take a lot of pics of myself then delete them because I think I'm ugly
59-I have a bad self-image
60-I think I'm fat
61-I'm waiting for someone to get online right now
62-I want to paint my room a different color
63-I have an interest in designing things
64-I'm a follower, not a leader
65-I watch Comedy Central like there's no tomorrow
66-I am in love right now
67-I underestimate what my parents probably know about me
68-I take people for granted
69-I listen to music all the time
70-I'm a huge nerd
71-I know the real definition to the word 'dork'
72-I'm not as charitable as I could & should be
73-I change or update my profile(s) regularly
74-I am a member to 5+ LJ communities
75-I like to play neopets daily
76-I know someone that needs help, but I don't try to help them
77-I've dipped my head under water to hold my breath to see what 'drowning' feels like
78-I have a step-family
79-I've thought about dying before
80-I didn't have many friends when I was growing up
81-I comment on my friends journals
82-I watch the news
83-I'm into politics
84-I do my homework regularly
85-I have a cell-phone
86-I'm not shy
87-I have three blankets on my bed that are all different colors
88-I think my house/appartment smells weird
89-I am two-faced around certain people
90-I bite my nails
91-I watch Lord of the Rings at least once a week
92-I think some of my friends are total nerds
93-I've attended a Cosplay
94-I have a penpal
95-I think stickers are the coolest
96-I like to correspond with people through actual letters & packages
97-I think hugs are the greatest show of affection
98-I sometimes don't wash my hands after I use the potty
99-I have tried my hand at acting
100-I made a positive difference in someone else's life
101-I'm generous
102-My heart has been broken
103-I have been in a long term relationship << well not super longterm
104-My friends barely know how I feel (not too many care)
105-I have a car
106-I've run up a phone bill
107-I watch the Surreal Life
108-I have an optimouse
109-My internet is too slow for my needs
110-I love to eat chocolate
111-My biggest fear is being alone
112-I have a best friend who knows me 100%
113-I like the band Coldplay
114-I have/used to have braces
115-I find everyone attractive in their own way
116-I have been in a long distance relationship
117-I look for the good in people
118-I'm usually fun to be around
119-I cry at least once a week
120-I have stuffed animals
121-I don't have cable
122-I have a pessimistic outlook on life
123-I clean my ears
124-I like to work out
125-I don't like to complain
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[Thursday
July 7th, 2005
6:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
Excited for Michigan! |
] |
In just over 2 weeks, I will be here!
The most magnificent place on this side of anywhere.
I love it so much and cant wait till Im there!
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[Wednesday
July 6th, 2005
5:40pm] |
I dont get it
I just dont get it
Im used to hearing things from someone
And then hearing different from others
But not you
Dont do this to me
You once told me
That you trusted me more than others
And not to tell them
I promised not knowing what it meant
Now I realize
You didnt want them to know
Because you go and you tell them the same thing
You tell me you dont even want a friendship with her
But when she asks you to come back
You happily beg to be her friend again
Calling yourself a horrible friend
And you wont do it again
When it wasnt even your fault
I dont know why you do it
I dont know why you lie to yourself
Telling you that its all your fault
When really, it wanst your fault
Shes a difficult person
A hard person to understand
And she basically blames everything on you
I dont see why you hang around her
Why you lie to yourself, or others
Or whoever it is you lie to
I know you've lied to me
Because you tell me that you are horribly upset
But the moment she says something to you
You start listing all your faults saying your sorry
sorry that your a horrible screwup
When really
You arent
Your not a screw up
You shouldtn let her walk all over you like this
You may call her your best friend
Because you guys have been friends since god knows when
But I realized this year
That you catn base friendships on teh past
Just because they were there for you 10 years ago
Doesnt mean they'll be there for you tomorrow
People change
And tell others that they dont like who you turned out to be
But you learn to deal with it because someoen who told you that
Doesnt deserve to be in your life
I love her very much
She is a wonderful friend
But to me
She hates when shes not invitied
But she goes and doesnt invite you
Does that seem like a true friend to you?
I jsut dont get it
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